Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight Times
I din't know this phrase was a Japanese proverb. The first time I read it was on this card in high school. I played it in my Goku deck. It's mechanics have nothing to do with starting over, in fact it's just a counterspell that gets exiled after use.
I was pulling an eBay order today when I flipped through the DBZ commons to get an energy attack card when I saw it. For whatever reason I thought "Well of course Goku can do this that's his whole bit." You beat a Saiyan to the ground and if they don't die they gain strength instead.
In real life you fail at things and just have to move on. You don't automatically get better and continue. I thought of all the stuff I've failed at over the years and it's a tad more than seven.
Right after high school I went to the Art Institute in Dallas. I had wanted to be a 2D animator since third grade but by 2002 there wasn't a venue for me to learn it. The Art Institute had 3D animation as an option so I took that. By the second term I was out, everyone in class already knew how to use the software. I had only just bought the computer that could run it. I failed at it.
So I went back to community college and started a Fine Art degree. Going to a nicer school with better programs is only an option for those smart enough to get in. I tried getting into the big schools like UT and A&M but my math scores were terrible and my portfolio wasn't even close to being professional yet.
By the time I was able to transfer to a bigger school I realized that other 20 year olds were at a professional level. That's who was going to get hired or accepted into residencies - the best. At this point I asked around and sure enough was told that I wasn't as good at art as I thought I was. I did keep drawing at this point, for fun, I'd make comics and such. I finished my art degree and got an entry level job doing web design for a small company.
Not being able to animate or draw well enough to animate didn't mean I couldn't learn to use Adobe software properly. I had access to them from school and had enough of a grip on them to do paid work. At this point graphic design wasn't meshed completely with front end development. We had code guys who did all that and I would just create the graphics in photoshop, cut them up and hand them over.
Then things started to merge around 2010. I needed to learn to code to continue. I had tried taking coding classes in college but never had the math or major/minor required to take them. After I graduated I applied to a few masters programs but obviously didn't get in. I figured that was proof enough that I wasn't going to make it in art if I couldn't get into one.
I got married around this time, had kids and did occasional graphics work for people. After that I got a job at print shop doing color separations for screen printing. I did sports logos, team merch, all that. It was fun. I thought I was good enough to do it on my own. I still kept up with the art world, my friends from school who became photographers and painters. I tried starting an art magazine but that didn't pan out. But I still felt like I had the time and ability to stick with it.
After two years I wanted to start my own print shop but the funds were out of reach. I priced it out to like, 20 grand in equipment and supplies so I got a small 1 color press and tried to earn my way to bigger equipment. I did maybe ten small print jobs for people before that dried up as well. I couldn't sell my own designs, and people were flocking to this new "print on demand" model that used heat press transfers and direct to garment setups.
We ended up moving around this time so I sold what equipment I had rather than waste money trying. I took a big break from doing any art really at all and got into electronics and 3d printing. Again, a hobby that proved to be something I couldn't scale up into a business.
At this point I had failed at art school, a magazine, at having a print shop, at being a freelance designer, at being a professional at what I thought I was good at.
I tried scaling up the writing hobby by publishing a book. I tried sticking with it by starting a niche literary magazine. (That's going on a break next year.) I tried selling CCG cards a year before the market took off and still wasn't able to get that to work.
At this point you'd think I was setting this up as a pity party for my inability to try hard enough. But no. I still have the ability to do these things. I've learned enough from doing all of this over the years to know what to do and what not to do. It wasn't a waste.
All those "failures" I have are really just experience points. Nothing is really wasted. Every problem I run into has something I learned about from something I attempted before. It would be just the same if I had gone to school to learn software and spent the last 20 years as a developer only to get replaced by an AI integration. Even if I did what I should have done I'd be in the same boat.
Next year I want to publish at least two of my half finished books. That is my new goal. Enough of the little projects and hobbies, I have to complete the things I started.